I have this friend that I have known most of my life. We were inseparable as kids until my family moved to Alaska when I was 6. When we moved back when I was 11 we started hanging out again and that lasted for a little while until I realized I had grown up and she hadn’t. We lost touch for several years until earlier this year when she contacted me through MySpace. At first I was excited to hear from her until I started reading her profile and talking to her a bit. I soon realized she has grown into just the person I was afraid she would, the kind of person I hate.
Now I know that sounds harsh but it’s true. This type of person literally makes me angry and it takes a LOT to make me angry. She keeps wanting to hang out but I just can’t do it. I know that if I was around her for even 5 min it would make me physically sick. Part of the reason for that is because I would feel so inferior. You see she is the type of person that has it ALL. Even growing up she had it all. Her family is well off, she is extremely beautiful (I’m talking model gorgeous) and talented, she plays the piano and has the voice of an angel, not to mention she is bilingual in at least 2 languages. All things I have wanted to do/be but never could. And on top of all that she drives a BMW! She is my age and drives a BMW that just isn’t right!
I know I shouldn’t feel this way, that I should be happy for her. But I just can’t. She has never had to fight for anything, it has all been handed to her on a silver platter with a golden spoon. And here I am living in my parents basement working 2 jobs just to make the ends meet. Not to mention the fact that I have NO talent and guys wont even give me the time of day. I am getting so tired of having to fight for every little thing I get. Nothing ever comes easy, nothing is ever free. Like I said I know I shouldn’t feel this way I just don’t know what to do about it. She just gets under my skin and drives me crazy!
